These past days at Cambridge were the first days in which I felt comfortable at Harvard. In my first three semesters, there wasn’t a day where I didn’t feel uncomfortable at the campus.
This time around, I had the freedom to go around Boston and Cambridge as I wished, without any of the constraints of classes, activities, work, or studying. There have been moments before where I felt like this before (read this post), but the overwhelming mood of those three semesters was discomfort. I felt that my time moved too fast and my education suffered because of it. The thought of being 22 with a college degree terrified me because I felt I would be too immature at such a young age. I saw many students who studied but didn’t seem to connect it to their selves.
In this year-and-a-half away I maintained contact with very few students. In the past months I emailed few and hung out with an even smaller number of people. I wasn’t entirely concerned with maintaining connections. I needed to do my own thing with or without the people I knew at Harvard.
I am amazed at how anonymous I was at Harvard Square. I walked around the Square and sat for hours in outside spaces and was not recognized by anyone. I did see a few people I knew, but they did not see me.
I don’t know how I’ll deal with reconnecting when I return. I’m not sure I’ll still be part of my former social circles or if I’ll split my time with other activities. I’m now getting ahead of myself.
As I stare out my window, down at the woven tapestry of clouds as I fly over the Great Plains, I consider what happened in the year-and-a-half I was at Harvard and the year-and-a-half I’ve spent in South Gate and I can’t help but smile.
I look forward to what the future holds.
Somewhere over the United States of America
July 30, 2010