Soledad en masa

Return, III

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Boston buildings as seen from the Boston Common

These past days at Cambridge were the first days in which I felt comfortable at Harvard. In my first three semesters, there wasn’t a day where I didn’t feel uncomfortable at the campus.

This time around, I had the freedom to go around Boston and Cambridge as I wished, without any of the constraints of classes, activities, work, or studying. There have been moments before where I felt like this before (read this post), but the overwhelming mood of those three semesters was discomfort. I felt that my time moved too fast and my education suffered because of it. The thought of being 22 with a college degree terrified me because I felt I would be too immature at such a young age. I saw many students who studied but didn’t seem to connect it to their selves.

In this year-and-a-half away I maintained contact with very few students. In the past months I emailed few and hung out with an even smaller number of people. I wasn’t entirely concerned with maintaining connections. I needed to do my own thing with or without the people I knew at Harvard.

I am amazed at how anonymous I was at Harvard Square. I walked around the Square and sat for hours in outside spaces and was not recognized by anyone. I did see a few people I knew, but they did not see me.

I don’t know how I’ll deal with reconnecting when I return. I’m not sure I’ll still be part of my former social circles or if I’ll split my time with other activities. I’m now getting ahead of myself.

Flying somewhere over the USA

As I stare out my window, down at the woven tapestry of clouds as I fly over the Great Plains, I consider what happened in the year-and-a-half I was at Harvard and the year-and-a-half I’ve spent in South Gate and I can’t help but smile.

I look forward to what the future holds.

Somewhere over the United States of America
July 30, 2010

Written by soledadenmasa

August 29, 2010 at 3:00 am

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