I went months without writing, and here I am restarting this thing. How many times have I said I am taking time off or dropped off the face of Blogtitlán or your RSS reader and then reappeared with a random post, only to disappear again? It’s been really hard for me to write here. I make excuses for myself as to why I am not writing: I don’t want to give up a lot of my privacy, I have other things to do, it’s not something that I am getting paid for and as such, I am not interested. What a fucking joke.
I started this thing because I had a habit of keeping some sort of online journal where I could write whatever I wanted and hope that people responded to what I wrote. I found people who would read this site and might comment every so often. It’s fine, good. I don’t know what this site’s role has become since I started college. At times I used it to document what was happening with me and to let people know about it. That’s too much of an invasion of privacy. My teenage years with an online presence in social networking sites taught me many things, chief among them to not put my life on display for anyone. I didn’t want some stranger in high school to come up to me and tell me “I enjoyed what you wrote about your mariachi gig in Downey this weekend.” Who the fuck are you and why are you telling me this to my face? Once I started college, I saw how many pictures were posted on Sundays or Mondays detailing the weekend’s indiscretions. “Ooh, this will come back to haunt me when I run for office!” I once heard someone say about the pictures. Didn’t help that you were drunk, huh?
Now, what is soledadenmasa’s role? What do I want this site to do for me so I enjoy writing and restart with weekly or daily posts? Should I just shut down the site and quit L.A. Eastside while I’m at it? But what if I get the urge to start posting again? I ask myself these questions each time that I have been on hiatus for a while and have contemplated returning. I am unsure of how I want to answer them. I hope to maintain this site and contribute more regularly at L.A. Eastside because I really want to keep writing. Yes, I’m not getting paid. Maybe I should add a PayPal Donate button to my site, or can I only do that if I am a starving writer/artist who is trying to write a book in a foreign land but have run out of money because I spent my advance on booze and expensive lodging?
I really hope that you, dear reader, visit often or subscribe to my RSS feed so you can read my rants. Writing online has led to offers I didn’t expect. I’ll detail those more in other posts. See you soon, I hope.