When I left Harvard a few months back, I cut off all communication with Harvard and most students. The day I arrived home, I deactivated my Facebook page, which may not seem like a lot, considering that I still used my email address and phone, but it allowed me to swiftly cut communication. Without this public display of information, I was able to completely control what others knew about me because others had to make an effort to answer an email or contact me keep contact.
I deactivated my page for two reasons:
- I did not want to know what everyone back at college was doing until the end of the academic year. I felt more comfortable hearing from others once the academic year was over.
- I did not want others to see the following kind of comment: “Where are you? I heard you had to leave. I hope everything is fine with you.” Those comments give the impression that something went wrong, which was not the case.
My disconnection stemmed from a desire to remain private. I don’t like people probing too much and I wanted to prevent that by disappearing for a period of time.
I kept my separation from college-related people until early April, when I lost the desire to remain private and reactivated my Facebook page. There was a minimal increase in contact with people from college, but I enjoyed talking with them again, albeit online. It took four months after leaving to finally let most people on my friend list to freely & publicly contact me. Most of them had my email address. It was up to them to email me if they wanted to contact me.
I don’t know when I’ll be willing to completely reconnect with people from college. The Internet and online connections are no replacement for personal contact. Since a sizable number of people I knew were from California or would travel to California to visit mutual friends, I anticipate there will someday be a reunion/party and I will be invited. I’ll attend only if I am willing to take that leap and completely reconnect.